Recognising signs

Recognise the signs

It isn’t always obvious when someone is struggling — many people hide how they really feel. These pointers can help you notice when something isn’t quite right.

An elderly man in a red plaid jacket sits on stone steps in a garden, holding a coffee cup. The mood is peaceful, with neatly trimmed hedges and scattered flowers.

Changes in behaviour or mood

A shift from someone’s usual self — sudden or gradual — can be a sign. They may seem more anxious, agitated or unusually quiet. Sometimes a sudden lift in mood after a low period can also happen.

A difference in appearance

Noticeable changes in weight, personal hygiene or overall presentation.

Loss of interest & withdrawal

Less interest in hobbies or activities they usually enjoy, or avoiding social situations and seeing family and friends less often.

Alcohol or drug use

Increasing alcohol intake or experimenting with drugs can be a sign of coping with distress.

Communication changes

How much: talking much more (to avoid topics) or much less (withdrawing).

How they contact you: switching to text instead of phone calls.

Things they might say

“I can’t sleep.” / “I don’t want to wake up.”
“I feel hopeless.” / “Nothing will help.”
“There’s no point in going on.”
“All my problems will end soon.” / “No one can help me now.”
“I wish I was dead.”

After a major life event

Bereavement, relationship breakdown, redundancy, a difficult diagnosis or another big change can leave someone feeling overwhelmed or like others would be better off without them.

Making preparations

For example:

Giving away possessions
Asking someone to look after their pets
Researching or planning how they might take their own life
Saying goodbye

Recognise the signs in autistic people

Autistic people may find it hard to explain how they feel and may mask their emotions. Direct questions can help more than open ones, and some people prefer typing or writing to speaking.

Two men sit on a decorative park bench, holding coffee cups, engaged in conversation. They are surrounded by lush greenery, creating a relaxed atmosphere.

Behaviour & appearance

Acting differently to their usual self; changes in self-care or weight.

Repetitive behaviours or thoughts

Stimming can increase under stress; looping thoughts can lead to feeling trapped.

Interests & routines

Loss of interest or, conversely, hyper-focus; meltdowns; difficulty with change.

Risk factors

Big life changes or transitions
Relationship conflict or break-ups
Feeling different to family or friends
Late autism diagnosis and identity difficulties
Feeling overwhelmed; events impacting mental wellbeing

What you can do

If you’re worried about someone, you don’t need all the answers. A calm conversation and a few practical steps can make a real difference.

Start the conversation

Choose a quiet, safe place if you can. Stay calm and patient.
Ask direct, caring questions: “Are you thinking about suicide?”
Use clear words like “suicide” — there’s no evidence this increases risk.

Listen and stay with them

Let them talk without judgement; try not to jump in with solutions.
Reassure them they’re not alone and that help is available.
In public places (e.g. station, bridge), gentle conversation can interrupt harmful thoughts.

Reduce immediate risk

Ask about anything they’ve thought of using to harm themselves and, if safe, move away from danger.
Encourage contacting a trusted person. Offer to stay while they call or text a helpline.

Get help now

Call a crisis line or Samaritans (116 123). If you don’t feel safe managing the situation, call 999.
If you’re busy talking to them, ask someone nearby to call for help.

After the moment

Plan next steps (e.g. appointment, contacting a friend, staying somewhere safe).
Check in again soon — small, regular contact helps.
Look after yourself and seek support if you need it.