Recognising signs

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Recognising signs that someone might be thinking about suicide can be hard. Especially, because they are likely to hide how they are really feeling from family, friends, and colleagues. Here are some of the signs that could show someone is thinking about suicide.

Recognise the signs

It isn’t always obvious when someone is struggling — many people hide how they really feel. These pointers can help you notice when something isn’t quite right.

An elderly man in a red plaid jacket sits on stone steps in a garden, holding a coffee cup. The mood is peaceful, with neatly trimmed hedges and scattered flowers.

Changes in behaviour

A difference in someone’s overall mood

  • A difference in someone’s overall mood is a change that does not reflect how their mood usually is day to day. This can include a sudden change or one that has been changing over sometime.
  • An example of this could be that the person seems more anxious, agitated, or quiet, or if they have been feeling low a sudden improvement in mood and sense of calm.

    • A difference in how someone looks

  • A difference in how someone looks could be a dramatic change in their weight, personal hygiene, or something else that looks different about them.

    • Loss of interest

  • A loss of interest could look like someone showing no or little interest in hobbies or activities they usually enjoy.
  • This could also be that someone excludes themselves from social situations, choosing not to see their family and friends as often.

    • Drinking more alcohol or using drugs

  • Someone might start to abuse substances such as increasing their alcohol intake regularly or experimenting with drugs.

    • Communication

    Difficulty explaining how they are feeling or what they are thinking

  • Autistic people might not be able to explain that they are thinking about suicide or that they are having negative thoughts.

    • Difficulty answering questions

  • Autistic people may struggle to answer open questions about how they are feeling. It is important to ask direct questions when communicating with an autistic person.
  • It might make someone more comfortable to type out or write down how they are feeling instead of saying the words out loud.

    • Using humour to hide how they are really feeling

  • Someone might use humour as a way of hiding how they are really feeling.
  • Someone might outright say that they are going to kill themselves but then say that they were joking to hide their true feelings.

    • Experienced a trauma or significant event

  • A person could have gone through a loss of a loved one or a pet, a break-up in a relationship, redundancy, diagnosis of a health problem, or something else that has had a big effect on them.
  • They might feel like they are a failure and people would be better off without them.

    • Experienced a trauma or significant event

  • Big life changes or transitions
  • Being different to their family or friends
  • An argument in a relationship or the ending of a relationship
  • Receiving an autism diagnosis later in life as people might struggle with their identity
  • Difficulty explaining how they are feeling or what they are thinking
  • Being overwhelmed
  • Life events that can have negative impact on someone’s mental wellbeing

    • Recognise the signs in autistic people

    Autistic people may find it hard to explain how they feel and may mask their emotions. Direct questions can help more than open ones, and some people prefer typing or writing to speaking.

    Two men sit on a decorative park bench, holding coffee cups, engaged in conversation. They are surrounded by lush greenery, creating a relaxed atmosphere.

    Behaviour and appearance

    Acting differently to their usual self; changes in self-care or weight.

    Repetitive behaviours or thoughts

    Stimming can increase under stress; looping thoughts can lead to feeling trapped.

    Interests and routines

    Loss of interest or, conversely, hyper-focus; meltdowns; difficulty with change.

    Risk factors

    • Big life changes or transitions
    • Relationship conflict or break-ups
    • Feeling different to family or friends
    • Late autism diagnosis and identity difficulties
    • Feeling overwhelmed; events impacting mental wellbeing

    What you can do

    If you’re worried about someone, you don’t need all the answers. A calm conversation and a few practical steps can make a real difference.

    Start the conversation

    • Choose a quiet, safe place if you can. Stay calm and patient.
    • Ask direct, caring questions: “Are you thinking about suicide?”
    • Use clear words like “suicide” — there’s no evidence this increases risk.

    Listen and stay with them

    • Let them talk without judgement; try not to jump in with solutions.
    • Reassure them they’re not alone and that help is available.
    • In public places (e.g. station, bridge), gentle conversation can interrupt harmful thoughts.

    Reduce immediate risk

    • Ask about anything they’ve thought of using to harm themselves and, if safe, move away from danger.
    • Encourage contacting a trusted person. Offer to stay while they call or text a helpline.

    Get help now

    • Call a crisis line or Samaritans (116 123). If you don’t feel safe managing the situation, call 999.
    • If you’re busy talking to them, ask someone nearby to call for help.

    After the moment

    • Plan next steps (e.g. appointment, contacting a friend, staying somewhere safe).
    • Check in again soon — small, regular contact helps.
    • Look after yourself and seek support if you need it.

    Suicide prevention training

    Suicide is a hard topic to talk about — but it’s okay to ask someone if they are thinking about suicide. Open conversations reduce stigma and encourage people to seek help. Take around 30 minutes to complete the free training from Zero Suicide Alliance.

    Free online suicide awareness training